Bouncing Back When You Miss Your Goal

Preparation is everything.  Controlling what you control is essential to performance.  But you can’t control what you can’t control, and in that, there are so many lessons to learn.

Saturday was the Rivanna Marathon.  My preparation was the best I could hope for.  I set multiple PR’s (personal records), and I felt mentally ready.  I felt that my 12 weeks of training brought me to the starting line ready.  I was going to improve my Boston Qualifying time and set another PR.

However, with 2 minutes and 56 seconds until race start, I knew something wasn’t right.  I immediately felt my body change.  I wasn’t feeling my best.  Five miles into the twenty-six, I found myself struggling at a very normal pace.  Again, at mile, nine, I felt the same.  My heart rate was in the 94th percentile in 98% humidity.  Heart rate and heat are not something to mess with.  I’ve never DNF’d (Did Not Finish) in ten years of racing.  I wept for what I had lost.

I went to the doctor soon after getting home, and he diagnosed me with an infection and prescribed some meds.  The rest of the day was pretty painful, physically and emotionally.  I do have a Boston Qualifying time, but with Boston, that doesn’t always guarantee you a spot.  That means that if I don’t get in when registration opens this week, I’ll have to qualify again in another race and hope for 2020.

There is a lot to learn from missing my goal.  I won’t profess to have processed everything already, but I have thought about it a great deal.

You Can’t Control What You Can’t Control.

There is nothing I could do to prevent this infection.  It.just.happened.  There was nothing I could do.  It was as if God just said, “Not today.”  I’m not bitter.  God is good and gracious to me in so many areas.  Any other emotion would only lead to bitterness.

Use Your Disappointments. 

I’m motivated to meet this goal of running in the Boston Marathon.  I’m committed to it and know that if it were easy, everyone would run it.  Boston is elite.  It takes more than even your average marathon.  And while training for 12 weeks and not meeting a goal is frustrating, I won’t allow it to be crushing.  It’s going to be motivating.

Set Incremental Goals Along the Way.

If I don’t get into Boston 2019, Boston 2020 will be a long way away.  I will need incremental goals to keep my motivated.  Things like running a half and setting a PR.  Placing top 3 in a race.  Becoming a better swimmer.  These small goals will keep me motivated as I go after the big goal.  Without it, I might lose drive.

I know that not everyone likes running.  Running is my drive.  But all of us face disappointments.  Every goal worth attaining is going to have obstacles.  Making our will stronger than those obstacles’ is not easy.  But hopefully, by implementing the above tips, especially when you experience a setback, will help you meet that goal and move onto your next one.

I goal into more details about all of this in my podcast www.anchor.fm/thisisgonnahurt.

Thanks for listening.

As Gordon mentioned in the podcast, if you would like to become a podcast patron, you can do so by clicking www.anchor.fm/thisisgonnahurt and clicking the “support this podcast” button.

Thanks for listening. If you want to find out more about what Gordon is up to, check out his website at www.jgordonduncan.com.

 

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MIddle School, Back to School, Anxieties, & the Gospel

Our youngest is navigating middle school.  This is her second year, but her first without a sister, as my oldest two are now in high school.   Whew, we are off to a tough start.

Let me just say that my youngest is awesome.  She is super creative and energetic, but her highs are high and her lows are low (isn’t that all of us?). 

As we head into the third week, a very common challenge has sprung up:  gym.  As a kid, I was fast, but that didn’t earn me much in gym as I was like 4 foot 3.  I was picked on, and I hated the whole locker room.  As best as I can tell, the lack of a close friend seems to be the culprit in this case. 

As we headed to school, Em’s just didn’t want to go.  Since there is a 10 min gap between dropping off my high schoolers and going to the middle school, I took the opportunity to try to soothe her.

We talked about David and King Saul in 1 Samuel 24.  This is the story about David cutting off the corner of Saul’s robe while David hid in a cave and Saul relieved himself (for real).  As soon as David cuts of the corner of the robe, he immediately repents.  He runs out to Saul, lies prostrate on the dust, and confesses his sin. 

How risky!  Saul wants to kill David, but David knows that he has disrespected the Lord’s anointed and sinned.  The two leave in peace, and we have a great testimony about how to interact with authority, loving our enemies, and an example of repentance.

Em and I talked about his.  I ask her if anyone in there is her enemy.  She says no.  Then we talked bout how to bless the people in her class.  We come up with this plan.  She is going to begin the class by praying for herself – praying that God would sustain her when she is miserable in gym.  Then, she is going to look at each person in the class.  She knows their names.  Then, she is going for God to bless each one of them.  It will take most of the class to get through every person’s name and to pray for them.  Then, she is going to pray for herself again.  My encouragement is that I am sure that God will bless her if she is praying that God will bless them. 

Will she find new friends?  Will gym by enjoyable?  We’ll see, but the time will be redeemed if she blesses those that she feels alienated from, and that is a pretty sweet work of the Gospel. 

Middle school is tough.  Emotionally loving (and sometimes nudging) your kids is a challenge, but we trust God sustains our kids and ourselves as we seek to bless the world. 

Gordon Duncan

Gospel Rich Books

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Godliness Affects Leadership

1 Samuel is an amazing picture of how Godliness affects leadership.  Take for example the contrast between King Saul and King David.

  1. Rationalization for Sin – In Samuel 13, Saul is facing defeat from the Philistines, so he asked for the priest Samuel to come onto the field to offer a sacrifice to God. But he wasn’t patient, so he offered the sacrifice himself which was unbiblical and disobedient.  When Samuel confronted him about it, Saul lied.  When he was caught in the lie, he then blamed the people. At that point, Samuel tells Saul that his kingdom will be given to another.
  2. Endangers the People He Leads – Later on in a battle with the Philistines (1 Samuel 14), Saul foolishly declares that any of his solders who eat before the victory is won will be put to death. His son, Jonathan, doesn’t know about this vow.  Jonathan eats, feels better, battles the Philistines and wins.  Saul foolishly declares that Jonathan must die, but the people ransom Jonathan so he isn’t executed.
  3. Selfish – Saul is then commanded to go and strike the Amalekites down. God commands him not to leave any single thing alive and to devote everything to destruction.  Saul instead takes their best livestock and keeps the King of the Amalekites alive (1 Samuel 15).
  4. Ignores God’s Honor – When Goliath threatened the Israelite army (1 Samuel 17), Saul didn’t lead them into battle and didn’t inspire anyone enough to fight for him and the people of God.

Now we know that David is not perfect.  He lied and deceived the priest when he was hungry.  As a result, David sinned, a mass of priests died, and an entire city was wiped out (1 Samuel 21-22).  But here is the difference between David and Saul.

  1. Ownership of Sin – Unlike Saul who lied when confronted with his sin, David admits his sin. He shows what true sorrow and repentance looks like. The next time David is put in a stressful place, he asks God for wisdom about what to do, not one, not two, but three times (1 Samuel 21-22).
  2. Protects the People He Leads – Whereas Saul threatened his men with death to motivate them, David leads a group of debt-dodging soldiers into battle, and when they express their concern and weariness, David takes their concern to God in prayer (1 Samuel 23).
  3. Selfless – When Saul disobeyed and withheld the best for himself against the Amalekites, when David fought for Israel, he obeyed completely and God gave them the victory (1 Samuel 18).
  4. Defends God’s Honor – And when Saul wouldn’t fight for Israel against Goliath, David boldly defended the honor of God (1 Samuel 17).

Godliness isn’t required to be a good leader as evidenced from the many amazing leaders in our world, but if someone has faith in Jesus, their Godliness directly affects their leadership.  Humility, faith, and boldness will either bolster one’s leadership or the lack of those things will hinder it.

May we pray for humility, faith, and boldness today as we are called to some measure of leadership.  David shows us that we don’t have to be perfect; we just need to be greatly dependent on the grace of Jesus.

Gospel Rich Books

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When Your Identity in Christ Doesn’t Match the Realities of Your Life

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When you have faith in Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of sin, you become a child of God, a son and daughter of the king.  That means, when you have faith in Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of sin, you receive the gift of His goodness, His righteousness.

That gift is not like a gift I could give you.  I could give you the new iPhone X, and you could use, put it on your bedside table, lose it, or even break it.  The gift of Jesus’ righteousness is not like that.  You can’t pick it up and put it down.  It is “imputed” to you.  Jesus’ righteousness was given to you, and your sin was given to Him.  Through faith, we become His righteousness.

2 Corinthians 5: 21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

The challenge to this truth comes when our identity as sons and daughters of God don’t seem to match up with the realities of our lives.  We ask,

“I know I’m a child of God, but I’m also so anxious and depressed.  Is that how a child of God is supposed to live?”

“I know I’m a child of God, but our finances are so bad.  We have so much credit card debt.  Is that how a child of God is supposed to live?

“I know I’m a child of God, but we fight so much at our house.  We don’t tell anyone because we are so ashamed.  Is that how a child of God is supposed to live?”

And you know what happens when our identity as children of God and the realities of our lives don’t seem to match up?  We are tempted to sin, and quite often give in.  That’s a lot like what we see with King David in 1 Samuel 21.

In 1 Samuel 21, King David doesn’t live like a king.  He is on the run from King Saul.  David is the anointed king of Israel, but he isn’t the coronated king of Israel.

David’s identity is a king, but he doesn’t have the wealth of a king.  In 1 Samuel 21, he is penniless and begging bread.

David’s identity is a king, but he doesn’t have the authority and power of a king.  He rules no one.

David’s identity is a king, but he doesn’t have the home of a king.  In 1 Samuel 21, he is homeless and on the run.

And guess happens?  David is tempted to lie because he is on the run and hungry.  And guess what?  He gives in to sin just like we often do.

David tells the priest that he is on a mission from King Saul.  He’s not.  But by saying that, the priest is compelled to give him food (which David is not supposed to eat no matter whose mission he is on).  Then, David asks for a weapon.  The priest gives him the sword of Goliath.  That’s fine because that sword is technically David’s.  But David says he needs it because he is on a mission from Saul which is a lie.

The connection between David’s identity and the reality of his life is too much for him.  He gives in to sin.  Just like David, when our identity and our reality don’t seem to match up, we do the same.

Our hope is learning to live out our identity in Christ while embracing the promises of God that may or may not be seen in the day to day.  2 Peter explains.

2 Peter 1: 2 May grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. 3 His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, 4 by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. 5 For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue,  and virtue with knowledge, 6 and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, 7 and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. 8 For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ

Verse 8 is so wonderful.  What God is promising is a change of character and person more so than a change of circumstances.  As we embrace that work of Jesus, we will then grow to be effective and fruitful for the work of Christ.  That hope, coupled with those promises, is the reality we should hope for and look for in our lives.

Gordon

Gospel Rich Books

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Gordon Wrecks His Car and God Gets His Attention

This past week, my daughters and I were in a car crash.  Thank God everyone walked away okay.  Physically, there is nothing but bumps and bruises.  Mentally and spiritually, there is a lot more going on. 

First of all, the wreck was traumatic.  For various reasons, none nefarious, my Honda Accord wound up straddling two trees while being suspended over a 5-foot drainage ditch in my neighborhood.  Because of the trees, we never hit the bottom, and I fear the accident and wounds would have been much worse if we had hit the ground.  I’m thankful for God’s uses of those two trees.

Now, we sort out our hearts and minds post-wreck.

For example, my totaled car is 11 years old.  My children only know me driving that car.  They love it.  They said it smelled like me (coffee).  I was planning on gifting it to my daughter when she gets her license next year.  All of those plans have changed. 

Financially, waiting until next year to get a new car made a lot sense for us.  Now, we have to figure out whether we are shelling out cash to get an older car back on the road or whether we need to buy a newish car.  Neither were the plan right now.  What a time to trust God because I don’t have the answers

Spiritually, we are so thankful to God.  Once we got everybody home, we circled up and prayed.  I thanked God for his faithfulness and mercy in a wreck that could have been much worse.  I also encouraged my children in this way.  I told them, “I’ve said all summer that this is the summer we get closer to God.  God just agreed.”  I don’t want to waste this moment. 

The wreck last week was one of those moments where God just pushes the pause button in your life.  It was an occurrence that we just weren’t expecting.  Our plans were good, but they didn’t include the demolition of my car. 

Human wisdom says, “Man plans.  God laughs.”  Biblical wisdom says:

James 4: 13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— 14 yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. 15 Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” 16 As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.

I don’t know if we were boasting in our plan for a new car next year or not, but I do know that right now, I am praying a whole lot more about things like new cars, a new driver, and my finances. 

All in all, my family is okay.  We have such a more rich prayer life and dependence on God right now.  For those things, and my family’s safety, I am so thankful.

If you would like to hear more about this moment, I talk about it in my podcast, “This is Gonna Hurt”.  You can find the direct link here.

Gordon

Gospel Rich Books

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Saul Tries to Kill David and How We Should Be Like Him

In 1 Samuel 19, King Saul is trying to kill David. After David’s home is raided, he escapes to Naioth to spend time with Samuel.  Saul finds out that they are there, so Saul sends soldiers to kill David.  When the messengers of Saul show up to take David, God has other plans.

In fact, instead of capturing or killing David, they see Samuel and other prophets prophesying and proclaiming the glories of God, and at that point, they start to prophesy as well. Saul is so wicked, he doesn’t see God directly frustrating his plans.

He wants David dead.  He doesn’t want his men prophesying.  So, he sends a second set of messengers to capture David, and they start prophesying as well.  Then he sent a third set, and they start prophesying.

God will not be frustrated here.  Saul will be, but God won’t.

Saul is so resolute on capturing and killing David, he just takes things into his own hands.  He personally is planning on going to Naioth, capturing David and killing him himself.  It is like Saul is saying, “I know I won’t get distracted and prophesy.  I’ve got some killing to do.”

But sure enough, Saul shows up to Naioth, and he is completely undone.  Saul is so undone, he strips off his clothes, lies prostrate day and night in the nude, and declares the glories of God. This is so shocking and so out of place for Saul that folks begin to ask, “Is Saul a prophet now?”

David is so protected by the hand of God, that every time Saul tries to kill him, the accusers are turned away – not just turned away but speaking of the glory of God. Every sinful plan is turned and transformed to give God glory. Saul thought it couldn’t happen to him, but it did. 

Murderous letch to prophet of God.

One small note:  Wouldn’t it be great if the next time you planned on sinning, you did this?

You go online, and you are about to click on a link that you know you shouldn’t, and all of a sudden, you sing, “Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost…”

About to slander someone, and you break out into praises.

Tempted to be jealous?  Start singing your favorite hymn.

We might be transformed if we prayed that way.  “Dear God, next time I’m tempted, help me to sing your praises. Move me from my most selfish intent to glories in your name. Would I find that praising Jesus is all I can think of the next time I’m so tempted?”

And perhaps, you will be transformed in the process even more so than Saul was. 

Gospel Rich Books

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Podcast Interview with Dr. Ligon Duncan about the Church & the #metoo Movement

While at the Presbyterian Church of America’s (PCA) General Assembly, it was my privilege to interview Dr. Ligon Duncan.  If you don’t know who he is, Dr. Duncan is the Chancellor/CEO of Reformed Theological Seminary and the John E. Richards Professor of Systematic and Historical Theology.

During our conversation, we discussed the #metoo movement, focusing on two areas:  how the movement can inform the church and how the church can inform the movement.  His insight was helpful, as one might imagine, and his starting point of the conversation was poignant.

Dr. Duncan emphasized that the beginning place of any conversation must be the church’s admittance of failure in protecting those who have been abused and also the church’s failure of calling out our its who are guilty.

He also feels that once that conversation begins and honest admittance of wrong is made, the church would then have an opportunity to speak about moral absolutes – meaning, how does the declaration of the wrongs of abuse speak to a higher authority of holiness.

Additionaly, he goes on to give advice to those who are starting new churches, and he also speaks to what he would say if he got to interact with #metoo leaders like Rose McGowan. 

If you want to explore more of this conversation, you can find the podcast link at https://anchor.fm/thisisgonnahurt/episodes/Episode-15—Interview-w-Ligon-Duncan–the-church–metoo-e1lvot.

Thanks go out to Dr. Duncan for taking the time to speak about these important topics.  Hopefully, his honesty will create more conversations between both the leaders of the #metoo movement and the church. 

Gospel Rich Books

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